What a evenings this week, waking up late night to go to the toilet. A kidlying feeling in the lower belly…. like “blub blub blub”. I sensed some muscle (stretching) pain in the right groin and realized “I am expanding now, already!”.

The school week began, bringing and getting the kids to and from school, to sports etc. The daily routine was flowing with some tiredness. At 4 PM I’m having a break down every day. I just need some couch minutes to relax every day. The kids loves to play outside or to play with the neighbour kids. Actualy I noticed that they watched television there LOL ( we are quiet strict with screen time, they may only watch tv in the weekends). I did not mind, I had my alone time. After dinner, when the kids need to go to bed I have another melting point. I introduced that the kids may shower themselfs with some music on. What do I do then? Laying in my daughters bed reading a article in a yoga or pregnancy magazine 🙂

The appointment for the echo is on the agenda and doing homework and some writing. Busy? Not really, Im embraccing the things as it is and I like it.

In this week I heard the baby’s heart beat! I had the first appointment with the midwife, on a Sunday morning 😉 ( yes, they are quiet flexible). My husband was at home, baby sitting the two other jumping jacks, so I went alone. It was the normal intake questionairre about my current health, previous pregancies, (family) diseases etc. I had to stand on the scale, I gained 2 kilos on weight in 2 weeks! I’m getting bigger now….

On the website I saw a note that they did not try to listen to the embryos heart beat at the intake, because it could not be heard always when it’s still this small (3 cm 🙂 ). We had a good conversation. I did not dare to ask for the doptone to listen to the heart beat of the baby. Gratefully the midwife got a call from another pregnant mom who was kind a worried. The midwife offerred her to come and listen to the baby’s heart beat if that would comfort her. She hung up the phone, and I couldn’t resist anymore. I asked in what week the heart beat could be heard. It was from week 6 when you do the internal echoscope, and 8 weeks with the dopetone ( Yes! I am 9 weeks, I thought). Then she said (where I was waiting for……I did not had to ask myself tho, LOL) “we can try after these questions”. Yeah!!! Happy me! After the questions I layed down on the bench. I had to go to the toilet to pee. She said to wait, the bladder could work with us. I layed down, got the gel on my belly and she put the doptetone on. I heard something immediatly! “That’s your beat”, she said. “Shoot!”I wanted to hear it so badly. She started to search with the doptone…we heard a lot of noise but no beating. For some moments my heart beat went skyhigh…..fear come along with a scary thought “What if there is no heart beat?”. Oh no, I I know that’s not true. At that moment she said to me to empy my bladder, it was too full.
Yeah, it was full, I went to the toilet and I was peeing for 15 seconds. That felt as a relieve, pfffff. On the toilet I thought “I want to hear it now, otherwise I need to wait for 5 days for the first echoscope.” I payed in the bathroom ‘Oh God, please let me hear it”. I got myself calm again and entered the room. I layed down and the midwife tried again. I heard a lot of noise, like trying to connect with some one on the phone but with a bad line “Grsssssfffffrrrfffrrrrrrrssgsgsssss”. Suddenly the midwife said “do you hear it, the heart beat, the tadum tadum tadum?”. “Oh my God”, I thought. I was laughing from gratitude and a bit of shame, because I did not heared it! She moved a bit and “Yeah!!! finally, I heard the heart beat!!!” It was like a horse walking, a really “tadum tadum tadum, very fast”. I whiped the gel off and sat down at the desk again. Did some formal things and left with the biggest smile ever! (ok, I have had this smile at pregnancy of Devan and Iyara too). Arriving home, I told everything to my husband. I saw his happiness, but also notied a bit of unfortunately, because he did not hear the baby (actually still foetus). After a gratitude prayer in my mediation room, i took the car and drove to Amsterdam for the Ayurveda & Yoga class. I told the teacher that I am in the forst trimester of pregnancy, so I did not had to do some yoga poses. She excactly told what to do and do not, while nobody else knew that I am pregnant. She aso mentioned the first three days of mentruation regarding some postures. I could recommend her to every pregnant woman!

We did not tell family and friends yet about the pregnancy, it’s our little big secret 🙂 But….on Friday my father in law came to baby sit and I the mailmen delivered a parcel. Iyara got it and opened it!!! “Grandpa, what is this? she asked”. “I dont know, he said. She opened the cloth what was inside and showed him again. ( she told me this, I was not there at that moment).
I was like “shoot, now he knows!!!” I told my husband and he said (very dry) “no, I dont think that he knows what it is, he sees something but at the same moment he don’t see it.”

Ahum!…..you’re wondering what it was., aren’t you? It was a belly wrap from Belly Armor. On the box you see a pregnant woman with the wrap on, on the box it says, maternity band etc……

We did not heard anything from my father in law……..So would it a surprise when we tell….or not!? We will see next week 🙂